30 Jul 2025

Thinking: A little human touch can go a long way – reaching out to a friend

Every year I try to raise a bit of money for the Movember Foundation. One of their areas of focus is around isolation and the negative health impact this has on people. Research by Movember found that nearly half of men, and 37% of women surveyed, felt they were unable to confide in friends about their problems. This is not good news given the Harvard University adult development study, which suggests that the biggest indicator of long-term health and well-being is the strength and depth of your relationships with family, friends and spouse.

Even when you have good relationships, and good friends, talking about your fears and our concerns, can be difficult. Sadly, men seem to be worse at this than women, but both are affected by this. If you have a friend who might be in a tough place, one suggested technique for reaching out is ALEC:

• Ask – start by asking them how they’re feeling?
• Listen – give them your full attention, not judging, but confirming you’re hearing what they say
• Encourage Action – help you friend focus on simple things that could improve how they feel – are they getting sleep, and exercise, and eating well? Suggest that they share how they’re feeling with others they trust.
• Check In – arrange to catch up soon- look to meet up or at least schedule a call or drop them a message.

For many their fears are a vicious circle: they are afraid that their concerns may seem silly, or petty to others, so they don’t talk about them, which leads to those fears looming even larger or festering. Yet sometimes, just talking about problems can help to make them feel smaller, or more manageable. We often come up with our own resolution via the process of discussing a problem with others. Another solution, where affordable, is professional help in the form of counselling or therapy. This can be particularly helpful if the issues are deep-seated, or very close to you and your own family. But this doesn’t replace a human need or desire for connection – there are also a number of groups set up for men and women to meet others, make new friends, and start conversations together (see some examples here, here and here).

Having a lot of unresolved questions running around in your head is unhelpful to your overall stress levels, whereas talking about your concerns can help you to prioritise and begin to take action to resolve the issues. This is true of your personal finances, as much as any other area of life. Personal finance questions tend to be a slow burn for many: the deadlines can feel far away, and the rewards even more remote. But as with any other problems, having someone to talk to about things, and also to delegate some of the execution to, can take a weight off your mind. Building a carefully crafted financial plan can take away a big piece of your stress about the future.

Who do you talk to about your personal finance priorities?

If you would like to discuss your personal finances and achieving peace of mind – book a free initial chat together.
https://calendly.com/duncan-bw-hoebridgewealth/30min

None of the above is financial or investment advice and you should speak to me or someone else professionally qualified to give you advice specifically tailored to your circumstances.